I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
