ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
