okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize