So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize