dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
