Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
