A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize