Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this just has baby written all over it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
