Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize