At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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