wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
