Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
