OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
