Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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