Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
