So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize