he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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