Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
