put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
