She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
