remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How external is "for external use only"?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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