And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
please come you make the beer taste better
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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