Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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