It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
