i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
