Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
