the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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