Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
