problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there was a trapeze. enough said
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
