Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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