Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
operation harelip BJ is a go
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
