how can u be prego again
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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