Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize