you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
