She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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