why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
