so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize