420 ftw
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
