ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
