if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
