Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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