Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
