i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
even my farts smell like vagina
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
