Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The Olympian is in my bed
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
