did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
