Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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