I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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