Midget sex pt 2 tonight
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
