you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
