Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think your dad took our porno
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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