I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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