im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
