Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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