I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
