That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
