I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
