You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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