toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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