I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
