Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
