The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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