Its about making memories worth repressing
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
