we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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