You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
