alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize